I, Too, Deserve

August 30, 2022 ◊ By Julie Bockarie ◊ Mindset

I, Too, Deserve

Strange title, I know.  But bear with me because it has a purpose.  I read the story in CNBC of the 6-word piece of advice from her mother, which Dolly Parton credits her success to.  Dolly stated that these 6 words have helped her maintain her success for over six decades now.  Her mother advised her, “You can give what you’ve got, but don’t give it all away.”

With all that is going on in the world today, it is important that we give, even till it hurts, however, there is wisdom in what Dolly’s mom said to her, especially for women. Women are often full of strength and vigor when it comes to taking care of the people in their lives—their significant others, their children, etc.  They are natural caregivers, which is great.  The problem is the aspect of forgetting to leave something for themselves. If Dolly’s success is something to go by, the advice from her mom was on point.

As I coach and speak to women across the globe, the common theme that I have heard over and over is this, “as long as our loved ones are okay, we are too.”  Again, this is noble.  Are we ok though? Have we inadvertently put ourselves on the “shelf” believing we don’t deserve?  What stories have we bought into, that have us believing that we do not deserve? I say we because I have my own stories too.

It seems like the longer we have been here on earth, the more embedded we are in stories that disempower us.  When these women are challenged to shift from their limiting perspectives, you see them struggle.  First, it might be a blank stare, then a wry smile, that seems to say, “if you say so.”  These are the result of years of not leaving a little something for themselves.  Slowly, the realization comes, “I, too, deserve.”

Knowing you deserve is one of the first steps towards pursuing the life you ultimately desire, which by the way, includes being fully available for your loved ones. Going back to Dolly’s mother’s advice, the first part says, “You can give what you’ve got…”  That says to me that you cannot give what you do not have.  To be better for others, you must be better for yourself.  Doing the inner work is what would lay the foundation and help us detoxify ourselves of stories and habits that do not serve us.  Playing small is really not a virtue.  Would you say to yourself today, “I, too, deserve,” because you do?

It is one thing though to come to that awareness, and a completely different thing to follow through on that realization, on a consistent basis.  Something or someone shows up in our space and we revert to sidelining ourselves once more.  Sometimes it takes support outside of ourselves to hold us accountable to taking care of ourselves.  In my case, I found the help of a coach invaluable. If you are having difficulty remembering or even believing that you too, deserve and would like the support of a coach, please book a call today.

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